Social Penetration Theory

Social Penetration deals with how a relationship between individuals becomes close or intimate. As noted by Ayla Abdullah (2011), Social Penetration Theory is "an objective, interpretative theory from the socio-psychological tradition that aims to explain the process of relationship development: how closeness and intimacy are achieved." In this post I will use the relationship between Tom Hansen and Summer Finn in 500 Days of Summer to further explain what is Social Penetration and how does it affects our daily lives.

In Griffin (2009), Social Penetration is defined as the process of initiating deep intimacy with individuals via mutual self-disclosure and various forms of vulnerability. This theory examines relationships at a personal area, penetrates close relationship between individuals or groups or in other words describes the dynamics of relational closeness. As supported by Altman and Taylor (1973), "Social penetration theory states that as relationships develop, communication moves from relatively shallow, non-intimate levels to deeper, more personal ones". Whereas as claimed by Baack, D., Christine Fogliasso, C., Harri, J. (2000), "As a result, Social Penetration Theory is sometimes called the “onion theory” of personality, since “layers” of personality are penetrated as time passes and intimacy grow"


The statements clearly reveals that as we get to know that person more and more, the level of closeness increases and more personal information will be disclosed by both parties. This exposure of personal information depends on the 3 crucial elements; first, Personality Structure: Multilayered Onion, second; Depth & Breadth of Self-Disclosure and lastly, Costs-Benefit Analysis (Ayla Abdullah, 2011).

The multilayered onion or better known as Personality Structure is defined as ''Onion-like layers of beliefs and feelings about self, others, and the world; deeper layers are more vulnerable, protected, and central to self-image" (Griffin, 2009). Let's take Tom Hansen and Summer Finn from the hit-film 500 Days of Summer, where I will apply the multilayered onion to Tom and Summer. Tom is from New Jersey who is a skilled architect who is employed as a greeting card writer in a greeting card company in Los Angeles and a fan of “The Smiths”, the fact that we only know that Tom is a greeting card writer and is a fan of The Smiths shows only the outer surface of the onion, as we go deeper, the movie reveals that Tom believes in falling in love and true love and his affection for architecture, as the movie goes on, Tom finally exposes his true feelings about greeting cards; about his jobs, that people buy greeting cards because they can't say how the feel and they rely on other to do it for them. At the end, Tom finally quits his greeting card writing job and pursues his true ambition as an architect. By applying the multilayered onion, Tom gets deeper and deeper into the inner core of the onion and reveals his true emotions and feelings.

Whereas Summer is form Michigan who just moved in where Tom works and she is the boss' personal assistant as seen early in the film, she also pointed that she loves “The Smiths” and was called "Anal girl" back in college because of her neatness and organization. As the movie went on, the depth of the onion gets deeper too where Summer says that there is no such thing as true love. About half way through the movie, Summer reveals something to Tom that she had never told anyone before, she became more intimate with Tom and told her secrets and dreams; the inner core of the onion. In addition Summer further exposed her past by telling her former boyfriends and girlfriend and eventually realizing that true love does exist. This is an example of an application of the multilayered onion. These onion-like layers consist of our thoughts, belief and feelings about the individual, others and the world as the layer goes deeper the more personal information is unfold. This act of voluntary sharing of intimate information, attitudes, feelings, beliefs, secrets of an individual is called self-disclosure (Griffin, 2009). 

Self-disclosure can be categorized into two. First, breadth of penetration is according to Griffin (2009); "the range of areas in an individual's life over which disclosure takes place", in the case of Tom and Summer; the breadth are Tom's job, where he is from, a fan of The Smiths while for Summer, her breadth are Summer’s job, where she is from, a fan of The Smiths and "Anal girl". Second, depth of penetration; Griffin (2009) states that "the degree of disclosure in a specific area of an individual's life". In other words, it is the depth at which one individual reveals his or her inner core; deep dark secrets, true feeling and emotions about something or someone and their true behavior. The application of ‘depth of penetration’ or degree of intimacy can be applied to Tom Hansen’s and Summer Finn’s relationship. First, “peripheral items are exchanged more frequently and sooner than private information”, in the movie 500 Days of Summer, we can see that the initial reactions between Tom and Summer are only limited to the basic information, they both only reveal very little information about themselves rather than private information (Griffin, 2009). Second, “Self-disclosure is reciprocal, especially in the early stages of development” and social penetration theory is applicable with law of reciprocity; “a paced and orderly process in which openness in one person leads to openness in the other”, as seen early, Tom and Summer interaction was fairly based on disclosure of basic information but it was a reciprocal process, when Summer revealed that she was from Michigan, Tom oblige by revealing some of his personal information to Summer (Griffin, 2009).

Tom Hansen and Summer Finn

Third; “Penetration is rapid at the start, but slows down quickly when more private inner layers are reached”, the disclosure between Tom and Summer was rapid from the beginning but drastically slows down as both of them started to reveal more about themselves such as Summer’s former paramours and Tom’s true feeling about his job (Griffin, 2009). Lastly; “Depenetration is a gradual process of layer-by-layer withdrawal”, as the movie goes, Tom and Summer began to drift apart, the process of depenetration occurrs, when Summer finally understood Tom’s understanding of ‘true love’, she became distant with Tom, she revealed her intention as being Tom’s best friend rather than paramour (Griffin, 2009).


Depth and Breadth of penetration is further explain by Yea-Wen Chen & Masato Nakazawa (2009), "The first is an area-based dimension of breath with not only breadth category but also breadth frequency. The second is a central-peripheral dimension of depth that starts at peripheral layers associated with biographical characteristics and moves toward central layers associated with less observable and more idiosyncratic characteristics".


Penetration goes through a number of processes when a relationship is developed, parties involved began to reveal deeper private matters and this can lead to, first; “Orientation stage”, the simple talk between Tom and Summer when they first met. Second, “Exploratory-affective stage”, this is when Tom and Summer first knew that both of them love the band “The Smiths” and in this stage both parties start to reveal themselves regarding opinion of a particular matter, third, “affective stage”; the point where Summer and Tom argued about labeling themselves with the terms ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ even though they had done sexual intercourse with each other, as seen in the movie, when a stranger ‘hit’ on Summer, Tom began to show anger as he subconsciously did not realized that he had labeled Summer as his girlfriend. Fourth, “stable stage”; a point where Tom’s and Summer’s relationship was at its peak, they were comfortable with each other, Summer shared her past boyfriends and girlfriend, Tom’s affection for architecture and his favorite spot of the city. Lastly, “depenetration”, this is when Summer started to realize that ‘true love’ does exist after watching the movie "The Graduate" the depenetration phase began, Summer began more distant to Tom, she labeled him as her best friend and not boyfriend and Summer was more conservative; less touching and kissing which eventually led to Tom’s and Summer’s relationship downfall where the cost of being together exceeded the benefits.

Cost eventually exceeds the Benefits

According to Griffin (2009), as noted by Thibaut and Kelley, individuals try to predict the outcome; "The perceived rewards minus the costs of interpersonal interaction" before a relationship occurs. In the case of Tom's and Summer's relationship, from early on the movie portrayed Tom's intention of meeting his true love and finding Summer in a population of 3.8 million is fate. In Griffin (2009), this basis of 'Cost-Benefit Analysis' relies on the 'Social Exchange Theory'; "Relationship behavior and status regulated by both parties' evaluation of perceived rewards and costs of interaction with each other". In other word the decisions made by both parties in a relationship mirrors the perceived cost and benefits. This utilize by maximize of rewards and minimize of cost or better known as the 'Minimax Principle of Human Behavior" and in which 'Outcomes' are assumed benefits after the reduction of Cost in an interaction (Griffin, 2009).


Outcome is usually relate with Comparison Level (CL); it is the threshold level above at which the outcome seemed appealing (Ayla Abdullah, 2011). Summer's relational satisfaction in the 500 Days of Summer was not that satisfying when she was with Tom, she realize that Tom was not her true love and this led to their eventual break up. Moreover the second standard is Comparison Level of Alternatives which is the best outcome that is satisfying in a relationship (Griffin, 2009). This explains Summer decision to leave Tom as she has met a better guy for her than Tom and this is usually driven by self-interest.


Social Penetration explains how relationships develop and this theory help us to understand and predict why and how people weigh in the benefits and cost of a potential relationship, in which the degree of disclosure of personal information is central to one interaction with another, social penetration is central to our daily lives a from the moment we were able to intellectually interact with one another.





References: 


Ayla Abdullah (2011). Lecture Notes. AC-1201 Introduction to Communication. Universiti Brunei Darussalam.


Baack, D., Christine Fogliasso, C., Harri, J. (2000). The Personal Impact of Ethical Decisions: A Social Penetration Theory. Journal of Business Ethics; 2000, Vol. 24, p. 39-49. Retrieved 26 March, 2012 from http://www.springerlink.com.ezproxy.ubd.edu.bn/content/h728003u43q04142/fulltext.pdf

Chen, Y. & Nakazawa, M. (2009). Influences of Culture on Self-Disclosure as Relationally Situated in Intercultural and Interracial Friendships from a Social Penetration Perspective. Journal of Intercultural Communication Research; 2007, Vol. 38, Issue 2, p. 77-98, 22p. Retrieved 26 March, 2012 from http://web.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.ubd.edu.bn/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=5a3368ab-386b-436c-8d73-533d46ec11b8%40sessionmgr11&vid=2&hid=19

Griffin, E. (2009). A First Look At Communication Theory (7th ed). New York: McGraw-Hill.